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Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.  -- Mary Ellen Chase

'Twas The Nightmare Before Christmas

'Beltway Update' version of Major Henry Livingston Jr.

Sponsored by your Congress and Senate

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
So few of courage, and oh so many who act as a louse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
With goodies for all and freebies for all who dare;

The children were nestled all snug in the beds,
While their future's have been hurt and all but dead;
And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
Have ignored our care and are all over the map,

When out in the lawn there arose such a clatter,
To accept another gov't check, that makes us fatter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
And opened the letter, I need my cash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Bring us hope that it will bring us even more dough,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A little image of my hero, Tom Daschle so near,

With a little old driver, so lively and quirk,
He steals from the rich with not even a lurk.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
Give me more, from THEM, and remember my name;

"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Take all you can, it's a gift for you to spend at the mall!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
It's all gov't money not yours, and that is no lie,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
If you want your share, be loyal and pay your due.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof,
The sound of an obstructionist who acts aloof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
All the reasons we will still be kept in our bounds.

He was dressed in fur, from head to his foot,
His manner was mind, while stealing all the loot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
He smiles, it takes 60 votes to pass, of which you lack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
If its not my way, you guys will never get your bill to carry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
Let's be clear, us Democrats are really your foe;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
You will never get real help, from the gov't elite;
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
Independent American can't feed at this deli.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
You need us to live, we won't let you do it yourself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of the head,
Let us know he is a man, who bring only dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Fleecing your pockets and hitting you where it hurts,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He gives the middle digit and continues to hose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whisle,
There are many more programs that have yet to fizzle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Xmas, without US, you cannot have a Good Night!"

SARTRE - December 20, 2001    


Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world - stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death - and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas.

 --Henry Van Dyke

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