Thanksgiving is the one holiday celebration that expresses our own personality.
Legal holidays that commemorate national anniversaries and religious observances, have their origin in institutions, civic
and religious design. While the ritual of 'Turkey Day' is rooted in the feast of the Pilgrims. Each of us view the intention
of giving thanks from our unique perspective. Football may reign supreme on the tube, and cranberry may dress up the plate,
but the real purpose of this day, represents our humble gratefulness for all that we have been blessed to receive.
To continue to list all the blessings our Nation has experienced would
fill more than the space available. Most of you know in your heart the long roster that deserves our gratitude, so we will
point out those aspects of this observance that you might have missed.
Who can forget the thanks that is owed to Bill Clinton for leaving office
on the appointed schedule, without a military escort.
To Al Gore for keeping the lawyers employed in the effort to pack the ballot
boxes in the Florida recount.
The queen herself, witch Hillary for flying into the big town on her broom,
from her new bat cave, to rescue New Yorkers from the prospect that a white male Catholic conservative would become our senator.
For the ex-first daughter, Chelsea in her decision to leave the States
to further her education.
And let's not forget Charlie Rangel for getting the 'First Felon' to locate
in Harlem among his own people. The business community especially is obliged, after 911, for that added choice office space
with the right address.
Terry McAuliffe deserves a nod for his skill in raising funds for his beloved
Surely, Ron Carey owes thanks to the democratic chair for improving his
testimony techniques in court.
And James Hoffa is in the debt to both Terry and Ron for making him the
The granddaddy of all thanks comes from Marc Rich to bubba for porking
the ex and keeping her off his back.
Femme fatale herself Denise, warrants mention for her diversion away from
those Mossad links to her old hubby.
To Senator Tom Daschle for not opening that letter himself. His loss would
be the ruin of all those new federal screeners.
And Congressman Dick Gephardt for his leadership is keeping the national
debt down now that the surplus has been evaporated.
No one gives more thanks than Gary Condit for the 911. Guess the missing
of one is less important that the disappearance of thousands.
But if you think its only the DemoRAT'S who have earned our thanks, consider
their friends across the aisle.
Remember the bold bravery shown by the House of Representatives when their
offices were sent a gift of powder? Closing down and rushing out of town surely will make the sequel of 'Profiles in Courage'.
VP Cheney gives thanks for that added rest away from Washington and those
regular medical check ups now that no one knows where he is.
Ex Majority leader Trent Lott for his demotion to minority status. No longer
will he have to be the poster boy for the dysfunctional conservative cause.
Speaker Denny Hastert is appreciative of all the support for bringing the
one party system closer in agreement.
Our esteemed Defense Minister the 'New Donald' Rumsfeld for the opportunity
to replace Jay Leno after the sweeps.
The press corps owes thanks to Ari Fleischer for the sleep they are able
to get during his briefings.
Rudy Giuliani rates our top thanks for not taking the job in DC.
Acknowledgment to Governor George Pataki for holding the charities to the
Czar Tom Ridge for translating marching orders to the bureaucratic chiefs
since their decoder systems have been out of order.
As for W himself, who has risen to become king because of a phantom called
'Osama', thanks for coming back to the White House after that little stay visiting those air bases. If Dick got sick, the
call could always go out to Alexander Haag.
To our new great friend Vladimir Putin for liking the barbque and letting
us herd all those empty ranges. And not letting that other cousin 'Vladimir' Zhinrinosky run the new fence line.
Not to be left out, Usama Bin Laden for the loyal support of the Taliban
and all that cash that is stashed.
And last but not least, with any luck 'whorealdo' Rivera, will like the
climate in the hills so much that he will take up permanent residency.
The 'American Public' also gives a collective thanks for allowing the national
crisis to usher in the brave new world disorder, that promises a future that none would have expected. Air travel will not
be an issue, for few will fly. Slow mail delivery is not a problem because none will be opened. ID verification will be painless
after the Oracle implants heal. Interest on CD's won't matter when savings disappear. And border crossings will be a thing
of the past for foreigners, if we are deserving of the bounty of our feast.
Yes, we have so much to be beholden. The nightmare of the last administration
is but a faint memory. If uncertainty and apprehension is the condition of the day, we all should recognize that terror only
exists if we allow it to reside within ourselves. The 'turkeys' that are called the talking heads, keep telling us what it
all means. Those who listen to their claims will be the fowl that fills the plates of the hogs who feast on the public stage.
Thanksgiving deserves better, it is your celebration.
SARTRE - November 18, 2001